he words flexibility and birth plan are actually diametrically opposed. To maintain flexibility in labor, I recommend that expectant parents have prenatal conversations and communicate with each other about their goals and desires for labor.

Partners should be getting a very clear sense about what is important: 

• Is she an epidural candidate or would she like to avoid interventions?

• Is there any pregnancy or prenatal history that would be important to communicate to the labor nurse?

• Is there an overwhelming concern or issue that would be helpful for the nurse to know?

To communicate this verbally versus handing over a written document is a much better way to establish a working relationship with the healthcare team at the hospital.

When a couple arrives in L&D (Labor & Delivery) with a written dissertation on what will and won’t happen, outlining their plans for the birth, they are setting themselves up for disappointment, regret, and effectively distancing themselves from their nurses. The hospital team has the same goals you do: healthy moms and healthy babies, however you get there. When couples have realistic expectations of themselves and of the hospital, everyone can work together towards the same goal – a beautiful baby!