y son is a crab. This is what ran through my head the first time I saw a sonogram of him during the first month of my wife’s pregnancy. With expectations of seeing a perfectly formed little me, I was severely disappointed when my wife – just home from the doctor – presented me with the small printout in her hand.

What I didn’t realize is that at just eight weeks the “dating scan” sonogram is only used to date the baby’s expected due date and make a basic measurement from head to bottom (crown to rump). Paternal pride is not a concern of doctors at this point.

However, some sixteen weeks later, I went with my wife to get my first live look at our son. This “anomaly scan” is considered the main scan and is usually the time when most men get their first look at their future major league shortstop/doctor/teacher/astronaut. This is a detailed image that allows the doctor to determine if your baby’s growth is on schedule. While you and your wife will be busy “ooohing” and “aaaahing,” your doctor will be taking measurements, checking for various conditions such as cleft palate, spina bifida, and any abnormalities of the heart, brain, or other organs.

Not knowing any of this before our visit, I now realize the whole experience would have been much more enjoyable if I had just kept a few simple things in mind…

It's Perfectly Normal to Feel Lost.
I’d much rather drive around lost for thirty minutes than stop to ask for directions. But in the doctor’s office that mindset basically left me in a zombied silence, causing me to nod stupidly as my wife’s obstetrician spoke to us.

If I had remembered that the sonogram tally was "Doctor: Thousands" and "Me: None," I might have been more at ease with my ignorance of the whole matter. I definitely would have felt less stupid when she pointed out to me that what I thought (or hoped) was my son’s penis was actually his left leg.

Use Your Imagination.
Depending on the equipment, your sonogram can range in picture quality. Coupled with your mounting fears and worries, it’s hard to get excited over this grainy picture of a bunch of wavy lines. But remember: THIS IS YOUR FUTURE LITTLE LEAGUER! That cloudy black and white outline of what looks like wavy lines will one day be tossing a ball to you in your backyard or pouring you imaginary afternoon tea.

Like anything else worthwhile, it takes time for things to develop and your baby is no exception. They are getting closer and closer to throwing you that split-fingered fastball even as you stare dumbly at that grainy sonogram picture. So use your imagination and get excited!

Ask Questions.
Staring at the video screen in the doctor’s office, my mind basically wavered between the thoughts of, “Are my wife and child okay?” and “Why did they put all that jelly on her stomach?” (neither of which I asked). But remember, this doctor is here to help you, too. You have concerns as a father and it’s the doctor’s job to address them, but it’s your job to speak up and make your concerns known. If you feel like your doctor is dismissing you or answering your wife when you asked the question, talk to your wife about it later (preferably while she’s in a good mood or eating chocolate).

If you’re not sure what to ask the doctor, here are a few basic suggestions that might spark conversation:

Also, remember that you can ask to not have your baby’s sex revealed if you prefer to be surprised.

So as you get ready for your first sonogram, remember that this is a routine screening that presents no threat of harm to your wife or child whatsoever. Relax, get your baseball mitt oiled up or break out the tea party settings, and enjoy this first meeting with your new child.