others of young children are faced with a multitude of decisions: go back to work or stay at home, breastfeed or bottle feed, let the baby cry or always comfort her, use cloth or disposable diapers... the list goes on and on. You want to do the very best for your child, but sometimes figuring out what that means can be overwhelming.

When you are uncertain about what to do, it is natural to seek help. These days, though, so many new mothers live far away from their family, or have their babies at different points in their lives than their friends. In the absence of a trusted friend or relative, mothers may turn to books and magazines as they strive to do everything right. Many women seek out “experts” to bolster their confidence, but find that for every book or article promoting one approach, there is another suggesting the exact opposite.

What’s a mother to do?

I am convinced that the reason there are so many experts is that almost all of them are right - at least for some people. Certain methods work well for some families, and very few work for absolutely everyone. Some techniques and attitudes will feel totally right to you, while others might make you uncomfortable or make no sense to you at all. My suggestion is to find one or two sources that resonate with you - advice that helps you feel good about your parenting. Ignore those that make you feel bad.

Frequently, though, even expert help isn’t enough. When you are not sure, when you are tired, frustrated, and confused, or when everything you’ve tried just isn’t working, put your trust into people like you - moms who are dealing with the same issues you are. Share your concerns with friends or neighbors you trust. [Explore The Cradle’s community offerings and connect with other expectant and new moms on The Cradle Message Boards, or in a private or public group. You might find the answers - or the reassurance - that you need.]

Once you have consulted with your family and friends, asked your favorite experts, and chatted with others going through the same experience, the best thing you can do is trust your own instincts. Consider the information you’ve gathered and do what feels right.

The best parenting results from parents who know themselves and their children. They are able to tailor their actions to their specific talents and needs.

Consider you and your baby’s personalities, strengths, and styles. Ultimately, you are the one who knows yourself and your baby best. It’s hard in the beginning to feel confident about your choices, but if you want to be a good mom, chances are you will be.